Rando Tilly:
1. Remember that chick in "Say Anything," you know, the one Lloyd Dobler was pining after with his massive juke box and everything. Well, okay. I always wondered what happened to her and her cute little lisp...well, I found her. She had a minor, as in mini minor, role in the movie "Fever Pitch" with Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon, as one of Drew's "skeptical" friends. Yeah. It was totally her. Whoa, I just imbd'ed her ass and yikes. Strugg-a-ling. Her best recent role: Arrested Development. Her worst recent role: Everything else.
2. Karma? Yesterday at the gym I laughed (to myself) at this chick who ran face first square into the glass doors coming into the track area...but she laughed too, so I thought I was good to go. Today, I prematurely entered my office, as in I walked face first square into the wall. It was kinda scratchy. I thought it was funny.
3. We got new foamy soap in the ladies room. Exciting times, I tell ya. Exciting times.
4. I don't know how to stop talking. Seriously. I literally can't.stop.talking. Especially when I don't know what to say. Yeah. You'd think that I would STOP talking if I didn't have anything to say. But no. I just keep on keepin on. Inspiring, really. For instance, an hour ago a prospective grad student asked me how to get to the front of the building (genius). But, really, it is kind of confusing. So, I offered to escort him (I'm nice like that) because I had to go down there anyway. So, granted, all he has asked is HOW to get there and I go ahead and take it upon myself to take him to the fucking front door. So, anyway, I can't just let it be as we're walking, I'm like:
Tilly: Well, we could take the elevator or the stairs...
Tilly: Yeah, let's just take the stairs.
Boy: Okay. Um...
Tilly: (pointing east) See, that's east. The lake's over there. You can't see it right now because there are buildings in the way. But it's there. Yep. And the front of the building, that's west (pointing west).
Boy: Uhhh...
Tilly: Yeah. Everything is north, south, east, west here. No left, right. None of that. It's just the way it is.
Tilly: So, just keep going down the stairs until the first floor, then take a right and another right and aw, hell, I'll just show you.
Boy: Ok.
Tilly: Now, go that way. That's west. Out the door. Keep going. And if your cab isn't right there, keep walking.
Wow. That was real helpful of me. I didn't even realize the ridiculous banality of that situation until I just wrote it all out. You're welcome.
5. My ipod earbuds are invisible. I have been stopped 4 times in the last 24 hours by people asking me questions, mainly involving directions, while I am la-dee-freaking-da listening to my music and minding my own biz. I mean, granted, I am very smart and have a very impeccable sense of direction, but I doubt that you can tell that by just looking at me. But, hey, ya neva know.
*Sitch1: After work going to the gym...Two older, kinda scraggily-looking folks stop me. I mean, they kind of reached out to grab my arm. I stop. Take out earbud.
Jebus'Friends: We are starting a SUMMER BIBLE GROUP. Would you be interested in JOINING us?
Tilly: Oh! (shocked and somehow seemingly grateful for the opportunity) THANK YOU! But, no thanks. Thanks though. [Think I covered my appreciation at the offer, huh.]
*Sitch2: Walking home from the Yuppies BBQ (after several libations, among other things, ahem). Walking by bars and drizzunks. Wearing ipod. One boy says something (I cannot hear. Wearing ipod), looking at me (I'm still in my workout clothes and hat), pointing, grabs other friend. Friend says something (I cannot hear. Wearing ipod) with quizzical look on his face. Seems to be YELLING something.
Tilly: No thanks.
*Sitch3: Still walking home from Yuppies. 1 block after drizzunks. More drizzunks, but these geniuses are attempting to drive somewhere.
CollegeBoy: EXCUSE ME??!!
Tilly: What?? (taking out earbud)
CollegeBoy: WHERE IS GOOD BAR?
Tilly: Umm, take a left (puts earbud back in. Keeps walking).
*Sitch4: About to enter office building. I am late. F you purple line. F you. Lady in minivan driving recklessly through turnabout. Screeches to a halt (I can hear this. Even wearing ipod).
CrazyLady:ExCUSE ME?!!
Tilly: Um, what? Yes??
CrazyLady: HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?
Tilly:[confused by this question] Excuse me? Out of where?
CrazyLady: HERE! HERE!
Tilly: You mean, how do you get out of campus?
CrazyLady: YES! YES! I'm LOST! I CAN'T GET OUT!
Tilly: [Trying to calm this bitch down]. Yes, I know. It's very confusing...[tell her directions]
CrazyLady speeds away.
Tilly: Yeah. Sure. No problem. Beat it.
2. Karma? Yesterday at the gym I laughed (to myself) at this chick who ran face first square into the glass doors coming into the track area...but she laughed too, so I thought I was good to go. Today, I prematurely entered my office, as in I walked face first square into the wall. It was kinda scratchy. I thought it was funny.
3. We got new foamy soap in the ladies room. Exciting times, I tell ya. Exciting times.
4. I don't know how to stop talking. Seriously. I literally can't.stop.talking. Especially when I don't know what to say. Yeah. You'd think that I would STOP talking if I didn't have anything to say. But no. I just keep on keepin on. Inspiring, really. For instance, an hour ago a prospective grad student asked me how to get to the front of the building (genius). But, really, it is kind of confusing. So, I offered to escort him (I'm nice like that) because I had to go down there anyway. So, granted, all he has asked is HOW to get there and I go ahead and take it upon myself to take him to the fucking front door. So, anyway, I can't just let it be as we're walking, I'm like:
Tilly: Well, we could take the elevator or the stairs...
Tilly: Yeah, let's just take the stairs.
Boy: Okay. Um...
Tilly: (pointing east) See, that's east. The lake's over there. You can't see it right now because there are buildings in the way. But it's there. Yep. And the front of the building, that's west (pointing west).
Boy: Uhhh...
Tilly: Yeah. Everything is north, south, east, west here. No left, right. None of that. It's just the way it is.
Tilly: So, just keep going down the stairs until the first floor, then take a right and another right and aw, hell, I'll just show you.
Boy: Ok.
Tilly: Now, go that way. That's west. Out the door. Keep going. And if your cab isn't right there, keep walking.
Wow. That was real helpful of me. I didn't even realize the ridiculous banality of that situation until I just wrote it all out. You're welcome.
5. My ipod earbuds are invisible. I have been stopped 4 times in the last 24 hours by people asking me questions, mainly involving directions, while I am la-dee-freaking-da listening to my music and minding my own biz. I mean, granted, I am very smart and have a very impeccable sense of direction, but I doubt that you can tell that by just looking at me. But, hey, ya neva know.
*Sitch1: After work going to the gym...Two older, kinda scraggily-looking folks stop me. I mean, they kind of reached out to grab my arm. I stop. Take out earbud.
Jebus'Friends: We are starting a SUMMER BIBLE GROUP. Would you be interested in JOINING us?
Tilly: Oh! (shocked and somehow seemingly grateful for the opportunity) THANK YOU! But, no thanks. Thanks though. [Think I covered my appreciation at the offer, huh.]
*Sitch2: Walking home from the Yuppies BBQ (after several libations, among other things, ahem). Walking by bars and drizzunks. Wearing ipod. One boy says something (I cannot hear. Wearing ipod), looking at me (I'm still in my workout clothes and hat), pointing, grabs other friend. Friend says something (I cannot hear. Wearing ipod) with quizzical look on his face. Seems to be YELLING something.
Tilly: No thanks.
*Sitch3: Still walking home from Yuppies. 1 block after drizzunks. More drizzunks, but these geniuses are attempting to drive somewhere.
CollegeBoy: EXCUSE ME??!!
Tilly: What?? (taking out earbud)
CollegeBoy: WHERE IS GOOD BAR?
Tilly: Umm, take a left (puts earbud back in. Keeps walking).
*Sitch4: About to enter office building. I am late. F you purple line. F you. Lady in minivan driving recklessly through turnabout. Screeches to a halt (I can hear this. Even wearing ipod).
CrazyLady:ExCUSE ME?!!
Tilly: Um, what? Yes??
CrazyLady: HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?
Tilly:[confused by this question] Excuse me? Out of where?
CrazyLady: HERE! HERE!
Tilly: You mean, how do you get out of campus?
CrazyLady: YES! YES! I'm LOST! I CAN'T GET OUT!
Tilly: [Trying to calm this bitch down]. Yes, I know. It's very confusing...[tell her directions]
CrazyLady speeds away.
Tilly: Yeah. Sure. No problem. Beat it.
posted by Tilly at 3:13 PM
1 Comments:
2. I did this on my birthday only I was drunk and it was a screen door so it was ok.
3. I love that foamy soap.
4. I do this all the time. Esp on the phone. I once told an interviewer for a job that I was going on spring break to Canada. She thought that was weird so I proceeded to tell her it was because I wasn't 21 and I could drink in Canada. I continued shoving my foot in my mouth for awhile until my roommate was rolling around on the floor from laughter and I realized I was an idiot. I didn't get the job esp since it was for the Am. Cancer Society. See right here I'm talking to much... I'll stop now
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