Here's my 34 cents.

Working for a not-for-profit, we are supposed to reap some minor, very minor benefits in purchasing. One being that we are considered to be tax exempt. Woo hoo. Anyway, this one time I had to buy some cookies at Whole Foods for a seminar. (long/short story: I'm an idiot. But we've been over THAT before.) Anyway. I didn't have the special letter explaining my tax exempt status. I looked at the whopping $9 receipt and figured (as most rational/lazy human beings would), "Eh. Fuck it. It's $0.34" and went on my merry/miz way.

Fast forward two months to today when I receive an email from my business office requesting that I contact Whole Foods in order to be reimbursed for the 34 cents. 34. CENTS. That's like, less than two quarters, people. (Math is hard for some. Stop judging.) So, I call WF. They kinda sorta laugh at me, and inform me that unless I show the cashier the SPECIAL letter saying that I am tax-exempt at the time (despite the fact that I was using my not-for-profit company's credit card for the purchase), then basically I'm screwed. Boo hoo. I'm screwed out of 34 cents. Waah. So then (I realize this story is getting long. Bare with me. Or don't. Whatever. Who needs ya! Scram. No, no. STAY.) I email the business office, informing them that I can't get the 34 CENTS back. They say it's fine. But in the future blah blah blah. Ok. Done and done. BUT then! Then I get the following:

Dear Tilly,

Am sorry but we just had another person who got tax of $.51 charged to his card and [redacted] say that we do need to collect the taxes and deposit it back to the account. Please bring it to me and I will give it to [redacted] for her to deposit.

Thank you.

Okay, disregard the typos and strange tenses...she's foreign. BYGONES. But seriously? SERIOUSLY? SER-I-OUS-LY.

I respond:

To clarify, you want me to bring you $0.34?

And...no response. Yet. Am I getting fired?

Luckily I was able to scrounge up $0.34. In my desk. 2 dimes. 2 nickels. 4 pennies.
NO quarters. Aw, FUCK no.