Queen of Circumlocution

I have a very special skill. It's called being an idiot. Jealous?

Apparently I like the taste of my own damn feet. Some how, some way, I always manage to mention exactly what I am NOT supposed to mention in front of those whom I am precisely NOT supposed to mention it in front of. It's inevitable. Luckily, I also have very smooth and spectacularly brilliant friends who do not seem to mind shooting me death glares (in the hopes that I will stop running my mouth. Immediately.) and saving me from my own self in moments such as these. It's almost as if my mouth is seized by a life-ruiner of sorts and blahblahblah comes out of it at the most inopportune of times. Once I regain my vocal capabilities, I stutter, I stammer, stunned at what has just transpired, leaving it to my people to pick up the pieces and remedy the situation.

Does it feel like I am talking in codes and circles? Good. Because I am. That is another one of my many, many special skills. I'm the leader of the lame. The pied piper of the derelicts. The Queen of circumlocution.*

*This may or may not make sense slash this does not make sense. PEACE.