Why I am Not Smart SLASH Really Super Smart

1. I voluntarily signed up for a TWO-day ALL-day computer training session with a woman who barely speaks english, repeats herself an average of FIVE times, cannot answer anyone's question if it isn't already covered in her presentation, and yelled at me last time I tried to help. BUT, the sessions run from 9:30am to 4pm with an hour lunch and two breaks. HAHAHAHA! I rule.
2. I double-booked myself Memorial Day weekend. BUT, now I can potentially get out of BOTH and do nothing. I'm a sloth. And I like it. And by do nothing, I mean LAY OUT. And drink. DUH.
3. I have another couple of job interviews. BUT they are for jobs I am not at all sure I really want. Genius!
4. I asked for more projects at work to keep me busy. BUT I may be leaving (see #3).
5. I threw FIJI a surprise 30th birthday party last weekend. BUT I was such an emotional wreck from lying to him all week/month, I got wasted before the party and only talked to my own 4 friends. I'm an AWESOME hostess!
6. I met a couple of Fiji's friends from college last night. BUT I mentioned something about being on a major detox. (I really REALLY needed it after last weekend. Trust me. I haven't drank in TWO whole days. WooHoo!) I rock first impressions.
7. I'm boring. BUT I'm not.