Maryjuhwahna Into Your Brain
After weeks of not drinking regular coffee (a.k.a. devil juice), I had some this morning because I have not been able to "wake up" since Saturday morning. Seriously. Not sure what is going on in this crazy lady body of mine, but I'm barely living. It's weird but it's my life. Anyway, the caffeine and I are now like mortal enemies. We used to be bestests, but now I'd say we're haters. I feel like a jittery mess and I can't quite seem to focus on any one thing for more than two seconds. Which is ideal when you are trying to write a research paper. No, really. It's pretty awesome.
In other news, I have found several interesting jobs to apply to except that I haven't been able to bring myself to apply to any of them. IDK (my BFF Rose) why, but it's like something is preventing me from taking any action. And when I say "something" I most likely mean "ME." Maybe it's that lurking fear of eventually hating yet another job. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why can't I just find something in my field that I enjoy? I don't think I've ever really truly enjoyed any of the jobs that I have held. Which is a LOT. I mean, maybe I liked my job as a ticket scanner at the base of Breckenridge mountain. MAYBE. I think the only reason that job was slightly manageable was because I was probably stoned the whole time. And when I say "probably" I mean "definitely." So there's THAT.
Someone pass the reefer.
In other news, I have found several interesting jobs to apply to except that I haven't been able to bring myself to apply to any of them. IDK (my BFF Rose) why, but it's like something is preventing me from taking any action. And when I say "something" I most likely mean "ME." Maybe it's that lurking fear of eventually hating yet another job. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why can't I just find something in my field that I enjoy? I don't think I've ever really truly enjoyed any of the jobs that I have held. Which is a LOT. I mean, maybe I liked my job as a ticket scanner at the base of Breckenridge mountain. MAYBE. I think the only reason that job was slightly manageable was because I was probably stoned the whole time. And when I say "probably" I mean "definitely." So there's THAT.
Someone pass the reefer.
posted by Tilly at 10:14 AM
6 Comments:
You know, now that you mention it, that COULD be the only thing between me and an intense love for this job. I've been looking for the missing link.
Tilly. This is SO FUNNY AND AWESOME. I am SUBSTANTIALLY CHEERED. How do you DO that, ON THE REG?
Sounds like a solution to me.
Sounds like THE solution, to me :)
Tessie: I have no idea because everything I write I think TOTALLY SUCKS and I HATE. I actually wrote, I Hate Myself, at the bottom of the post, but decided that was way to suicide-inducing and took it off. But thank you a million times for saying such sweet words.
Sass and Elise: Too bad I get way TOO WEIRD (weirder than I ALREADY AM) and kinda creeped out when I smoke dope these days. Boo.
I definitely have been where you are right now and I still feel that way in some cases. Some days I wonder why I wasted about 4 years and others I can look back and pinpoint the lessons I had to learn. It took some time this year to get over the fear and just go ahead and apply for stuff. I blame cover letters for much of the reluctance.
And then the universe weeded them out for me, reminding me of old, useless supervisors of yore and then I found it (they) wasn't (weren't) the place for me. I still worry I'll have done all this growth and made all these changes only to get to a place where I hate my job. Most likely, that probably will happen, only because I think it's the only thing that forces me to change.
I could wax philosophical about it but I won't mostly because I'm not stoned. But if I was, it would be profound and awesome and repeated throughout the land.
But know I'm thinking of you, and know you'll get through it!
what i want to know is why coffee give me extreme heartburn.
prob because i don't smoke enough reefer.
idk my bff tilly
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